Do I Make You Happy?

Do I make you happy? Do I make you see? With everything that has happened, are you happy with me? Do you smile like you did when you were with her? Or does your heart beat out of fear? Can you face another day knowing you're with me and not her? As each moment passes in your life, are you happy with your choice? Moments over shadowing another, your smile is your cover. Do you move mountains or just feel safe with me? Do you take each waking moment with a sigh of relief. You see, I'm moving in and out of doubt, you left me for her and now you're back with me. Have you settled or do I really make you happy. Has your heart changed, am I the only one you see? Coz if you remember, you left me for her, and now you're back with me.

Do you still talk to her? Like before? Or have you left all the past baggage at the door. You entered back in with smiles and open arms, not seeing around everything has fallen apart. I thought I needed you, the illusion of being safe around you was just me being belittled by you. The choice of walking back in the 'house' you tore down with words that cut through my soul, "she makes me really happy," should never have been there. I'm picking myself up, BY MYSELF. Right now I hope you're happy and you're heart is content. I hope your joy is to never cease. Frankly though, I couldn't care if it was because of me.

Illumination

Now that I have your attention. Let me take this time to blow your mind. Nothing like wine, is as fine as I to what I place my eyes on. A delight to my sight. I provoke the inner most being to awake the child I once put to sleep. Trekking across the woods in a ball gown with you would seem like a thought I wouldn't think twice about. A constant flow of emotions no longer am I in fear of losing this moment. For I am in this moment. Embedded in my soul. I'll feel even when it has passed. Long gone, I sit alone and breath in the new air. No, it isn't the same anymore. My soul renewed once more. No constant worry of what or where or why. Revealing myself. It doesn't look like me. Or who I used to be. Does it? I've finally found me. Individual identity woven in intricate details to fashion the mode of surviving like a suit of armor. I was made for this. Made to fight, to survive to thrive in the darkest of times. To illuminate and seek the light for all. The burden that was once uplifted from mine, now I uplift others. An example, a does, a goal setter, and everyone who tells you otherwise can leave. So staring again at the mirror. It gets misty. I wipe it clean. That ray of sunshine coming through. I look above and close my eyes. Thanking you in advance. I set my fears aside for today. There's plenty of time they can wait. I walk out. Its going to be okay. For once, for the first time in a long long time, I know I'm right this time.