As I sit here and ponder on all the thoughts that have crossed my mind, I fin myself coming across bittersweet memories. How do you move forward when there is so much holding you back? The hardest thing in life is learning when to let go. It isn't throwing in the towel as much as it is learning to walk away from something that no longer makes you grow. You stay, the memories are familiar and unchanging. It does not hurt you because you know the ending, you know the outcome.But that is all it is, that is all they are; memories. You do not forget them, but you don't love in them as well.
Afew weeks ago, a friend's mother passed away. She had to make that decision whether he lived or died. How does one find it in them to choose the life that would be of poor quality to someone or death to end the misery? How do you look at the one you love and say goodbye one last time, knowing that this day forward, he/she will no longer be part of your life but only a memory?
As she came up to me, "how do I forget the memories?" That sentence till resounds in my head. How do you forget memories? Are you supposed to forget them? What if they do more bad than good to you? Do you still keep remembering them? How do you look at someone and tell them that you aren't supposed to forget the memories but cherish them, when you know a loved one's memory only brings heartache and pain?
Let them flow, let them pass through your body like morphine attached to your vein. Let it ourse through your body and let it flow like a river. Let it heal the pain with heartache and tears and broken trust and faith. Let it bring you crashing down, with hoplessness in your eyes.From there, the bottom of the bottomless pit, the place where you learned to grieve and comfort yourself, the place where tears dried out and you can see clear again, the place where you lost faith but started to believe in yourself, is a perfect place to start anew. For that does not kill you, only shall make you stronger.
