Sunday, December 28, 2014

Façade of forever

They say that being brokenhearted is hard. To be cheated on and lied to is beyond comprehensive to one in love. To a certain extent, its true. The cheating and humiliation, facing yourself in the mirror, asking yourself on a daily basis what you did wrong. The thought of looking around you, and that feeling creeps in; who do you trust? The person you held dearly and so close to you, you had recently come to learn you only saw a glimpse. The moments of anguish and pain and all that you had built together, tumbled down in a moment you never saw coming. How could you have known that those fleeting moments that brought you unexpected joy was perhaps just a cowardly act of one who coyly strung you a long and toyed with the emotions of yours; yours that loved with the intention to wholly deliver.

But what's worse than loosing a part of you to someone who loved till things got tough, is to loose someone who never intended or wanted to leave. Your other half, two peas in a pod, soulmate; metaphors used to describe that feeling of relief or completion. No matter how unexpectedly you two met, something happened. You two clicked and it worked. Something you thought never would happen, just did and as much as you were excited, you were very much afraid too. The fear of loosing, like the many times you had lost before.

Then something happens, your life comes to a halt, the moment you dreaded, has arrived. A final and permanent farewell. One beyond your control. And your efforts to remain for the next 50 years together are in vain. Fate tearing you two apart, crushing your soul beyond repair. Perhaps only time can mend. What seemed to last forever only happened to be a façade. As the clocks tick, your motion ceases to exist. You start from scratch this time more scratched and bruised compared to the last.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

A Cut Out Dress

Don't we all want that 'stop in your tracks; do a double take at me,' and now that Halloween is over, we need to get casually creative without breaking the bank. As a woman of eternal style and elegance(and of course some funk,) one thing pops into mind;
cut out dress.

As many of you think(and as I once thought) that a cut out dress is for the bold and willing to bare one's external soul. I can show you three ways to casually evolve into the social butterfly as I breeze through these next three images.

Firstly, you can go for the retro-funk with a fedora hat, that up-beat black pair of boots(you were trying to find an excuse to buy), a king necklace pendant and that tight-snip personality lurking beneath the unsureness of breaking free. The cut-out shoulder probably works for one that's got an edge to a perspective not normally taken.

Secondly, the boho-chic look; with that adorable mid-cut out dress; makes a perfect modern 'secret garden' evolve into reality. From an innocent pastel colored gimmy to a solid black waist cut out dress gives you an hour-glass figure(like who doesn't want one??) accentuating one's waist.

Last but most definitely not least, that up-beat/glam look when we all need a cosmopolitan look. Pairing it up with a tote, pair of cat-eye shades and those sexy pair of heels dying to be shown off, turns you from the already self-confident, sensual woman, to a now radiant, mesmerizing female.

Accessorizing and the never ending war we wage from shop to shop can sometimes be a major pain. So a trusted online shopping space, at your leisure, whims and fancy could be the thing you need(great news men!) Now if you are probably wondering where, check out ZALORA where you have the choice from local and international labels giving you the perspective of different trends; upcoming and current ones. And whilst wearing that spanking new outfit, perhaps it brings in the confidence that sometimes eludes us and sparkles and lights you up from the inside, doing that double take on yourself, firstly, before anyone else. 

Friday, October 17, 2014

Seismic Shift

Rounded up by misery. Trapped in my depression. Banging on the walls that I built myself. So strong and foundationed, years of turmoil. Blood, sweat and tears. Nothing to be proud of though. After all these years, all I have to show for myself is burnt bridges and rough waters. I'm stranded on an island I call myself. Can I get out of here alive? I need to sustain and survive. Dropping to my knees I see my burdens being lifted off. Could it have been this easy? Although letting go is far from it. Holding on to ceaseless pain, so familiar, mistaken for a companion. Shutting it out seems to be the hardest. Creating a void of panic. My identity seems to be lost now. Without it, I am nothing. Or am I? I find myself trying to find my way out without the seismic shift in reality. Can I find my way back to myself? Solitary confinement wouldn't do. Agonizing trials of loving myself. Each time breaking my heart. Should I just give up? Get lost in thoughts and opinions that pierce through my soul. Perhaps I already have. Undoubtedly, my heart's desire for freedom is annihilated by familiarity. Casting out reason to remove these chains and undress myself of the tribulations and consequences I've worn for too long. It's time to do the laundry, time for a makeover. Time for a seismic shift.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Journeys - Halfway To Nothing

Now tell me something real. These feelings I feel. Perplexed emotions, stale blood that runs through my veins. Thinking of yesterday. This nostalgic feel. I can't try doing this without you. I can't believe this truth. Dawn is going to break soon. I'll be left to pull through. The end result is the war I'm waging on. No casualties determined. And I'm crossing my fingers and pinky promises. Holding my breath, closing my eyes. This could all be gone in a blink of an eye. So I'm looking up and staring beyond the sky. Now I'm praying for you, for you and I. In desperation I seek solace from my rapid beating heart. Stay still in solitude and grasp at something new. But I can't pull away. This new found ecstasy has taken over my mind. I can't find the words to touch your heart. Or phrases to move you away from the doubt's that evade the inner peace of your soul. If wishes came true, we'd skip the other heartaches and find ourselves whole. Embarking on journeys never done before. Hands held together striding and riding it on forever. We can do this. I got you, you got me and we'll make half that wish come true. Embark on journeys never done before. Holding hands, seeing each other through. Once again, I got you. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Papered Love

Let's start this off with the truth. I don't intend to hurt you. Feelings are feelings, what I say is true. Now you're hurting inside and we both know why. I hope I heal some pain, give you a chance to feel again. My thoughts are off you constantly. I smile when I see your name or your face.

Off such short embrace, I grew fond off you. Your smile , your face , your ways. I admire your story. There is courage and bravery. Risks you probably took a leap of faith to break the 'curse' that could've held you in imprisonment. If only you could believe in yourself and see what I see in you.

If only things were different and hearts hadn't been hurt. If trust was not broken and lies were not concealed. Maybe then we may have a chance to what lies beyond the surface of adoration and admiration.

When tears may fall and trust betrayed, when rain pours down and clouds turn grey. Come under my shade take rest and stay. I'll keep you warm don't be afraid. And when the sun is out and all troubles are at bay. Then you may leave and go out and play.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Angel A Bliss

I find reasons to look back and ponder. Thoughts escaping my mind and lips. Arms that were snaked around my waist, lips perched on mine. A smile escaping through the intimate embrace. A sigh marking the feeling of relieve that I finally sought what I found.

Take me back in time , let me see the joy in life. A child who once yearned for the playground, the sight of a new born to one who couldn't conceive. A dim light that illuminates one heart you were. Yet as suns dawn and set, nothing changes the memory of you.

I seek the shoulder that was once my confidante. I seek the embrace that fit the broken pieces together. Once more I fight back the outpour of tears and look up to the sky. Up high, where all the stars are strategically place, rests your soul, and I smile once again. Knowing up above, watching over me is my escape of mundane sanity. Watching over me is my guardian angel.

Monday, June 9, 2014

I found myself

I don't think I see myself in a world without the sanity I found after loosing you. After endless amounts of going back and forth in my mind, leafing through thoughts of all kinds. Conversations we once had and never before heard of again. Yet here I am reminiscing of what went wrong, and what didn't go right. The thoughts I had of holding you so tight are long gone. Erupting and exploding is a new found joy of holding what was once given away so easily to you, my heart.

Finding myself once again, vulnerable and accepted defeat. Only now I realise I was the one who won, for I gained my freedom from loving someone who saw me but looked straight through like I wasn't there. I found myself whilst searching for ways to redeem myself in your eyes. I found myself once again and now I'm starting a new. I found myself once again and I am letting go of you.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Loves Endurance

It isn't crucial to know all of everything but just the truth. It indeed has been a long hiatus from blogging. I turned the big 2 -1 lately, for those young readers that I doubt follow my blog, it's pretty much just another day. No more growth spurts or raging hormones of the abnormal. But I  digress, lately life has thrown a lot of curve balls where moments I felt I was wearing myself thin for others and sometimes I felt I needed to let go of the "extra baggage."

What drives the human motivation derives from two sources; fear or love. Hence we tend to hurt the ones we love. For as much as we love, there is the fear of losing it, and to defend ourselves from the uncertain hurt that might be caused through love, we act on the fear. We push them away out of fear of being pushed away first. Or we react to being pushed away with anger, a manifestation of fear. 

But what would happen if we changed the decision of acting out of fear to acting and reacting out of love? Granted some people may take you as a fool and take you for a ride, for you don't act of this world but of one too complex to comprehend. One where we know that ultimately love does conquer all and melts even the hardest of hearts. A world where Jesus and Buddha walked and we did not understand  for we thought of this world but not of love. We persecuted and mocked them for they were not understood by us and only when the left did we see the bigger picture.They did not live in fear but in love of knowing the higher power that would be granted if we asked for serenity and hope. 

So let's lve in love as much as we can, let's give without fear of receiving nothing back, for loves boasts of no reward of this Earth, but lives long after the action has been done. Forgive and give endlessly. Love unconditionally your loved ones. Give them all you have and when they hurt you; especially when they hurt you, give a bit more. For it is then that they need you most and it is then that your love must embrace hurt and vengeance and cast it away. It is then that they will know you are here to stay, not for fear or for you but for love. For as long as there is love, there will be compassion, with compassion comes forgiveness And with forgiveness comes peace. We never stop learning.

                                                                          - Much Love - 

Friday, January 24, 2014

New Years

As another year has come to an end and another begins, the beginning always has it's excitements and anticipation of new surprises and dawning. Yet, as the year progresses and days go by, we come across turmoils, angst and hardships we probably never faced before.We then think that perhaps it will only get worse, or why is this happening to me? We shed a few tears, get disheartened, disappointed and give up on the ones we love.

So as a fair warning before all the B.S. starts pouring in from life, lets appreciate the good and especially the bad, because without the cloudy days in life, the good would feel mediocre. Nothing is given to you without a reason. Every second is a life lesson being taught. When we fail to understand the teachings, we are brought to the same class again and again. Until you get it and then comes along another life lesson. You don't ever run out of lessons and teachings. and each trial and problem over come is building you up for the next lesson and bigger moments in life. As we graze through life yearning the love and need of someone else's we may find ourselves caught in a situation where someone is where we were a year ago. It would be like a full circle has just taken place, where you were once someone probably gave you the help you sought that you are lending to this person. For it is reason and validation we continue to live. It is to know we meant something to someone in a time of need. No matter how cold your stone of heart is, it warms up to a 'thank you' , 'you helped me'.

So this yea, take it as it comes, hardships and all. Cry if you must and laugh as much as you want to. But put a little meaning into someone or something.For a gentle smile or hug can speak volumes and echoes and it resonates through out the Earth than the coins and notes in your pocket going to be spent on a branded LV bag. Give all you can ... and then give a little bit more.

- Much Love -