Love NEVER Fails

As I have been bitten twice shy once again on the train to misery and loneliness (out of my own wrong doing may I add), Many things have been popping up in my head as well as people popping into my life out of the blue. But one thing never fails to come into my mind, that one thought of the person that has a pinnacle point in my life.I know that sometimes when you come from two wholly different backgrounds, thoughts and actions may clash, but the beauty of love is that even though the mind may be angry, the heart still cares. After everything has died down and gone to rest, do you continue to feel angst towards someone that seems dearly to you?

Forgiveness is one of those gifts that is worth giving back and keeping at the same time.People may see this trait as weakness or a liability to oneself, but the truth is, forgiveness is what keeps us going, forgiveness gives us strength in times that we would need to be strong.As far as I know, it is hard to let go of someone you love, especially if you still want to give it another try. There aren't a certain number of fights that you go through before you break up. Sometimes you can go through a million fights in a month's time and realize at the first day of the second month, the relationship is always worth that one more try.

We live in a world where relationships are painted in a picture where no fights whatsoever occurs. Or that only a few fights happen. Truth is fights and disagreements will take place. Love is not based on the lack of fights or disagreements or misunderstanding. You cannot measure love. Love is endless (gets you pretty crazy too!) , if you try to make sense of loving someone, if you try to make sense of someone being jealous or a bit too caring and protective, if you try to make sense of a feeling and emotion that doesn't need senses, then you will fail. Love is pure and innocent, sometimes we may come off naive and irrational, because a heart wants to take the risk and at the same time is afraid of getting hurt. So what do we do? We put our guards up and shield ourselves away from any truth that may hurt but at the same time heal our past wounds.

Healing is a tough thing, since you cannot get better without feeling a little pain. The moment we feel that there is a chance that someone might betray us, or hurt us, in other words, opening ourselves up again, we fear the worst. You will never get it right the first time, especially after the initial disastrous relationship, but as long as you are trying, then you are moving forward.People may reject you of your past, sometimes you may not know how to reveal past scars. Find someone that can look at you and say it to your face when you are doing something wrong, find someone that will scream and shout at you for your mistakes and then comes back to love you. Then you know you found someone that truly cares. If they could not be bothered to help you get back up and take you away from the wrong path, do they care for you as much as you think they do?

Maybe I wasn't asking you to love me, maybe I was only asking you to understand.Because for so long I've been hurt and for so long everyone has ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe I don't care. Waiting for you to say I've been waiting too. yet you haven't and maybe you never will. or maybe you are afraid as I am. But it all hurts the same, and in the end I will be the one that is left broken. When I lay down to sleep, I will still be the one crying. So screw the bad timing. I've loved you then like I've love you now and you know already deep down, I always will.

Chocolates and Heartaches

Another day passes and I sit here wondering whether you will be mine again. I ponder on all the thoughts we could have shared, and as each time I think of calling you I recall it is not me who needs this space but you. So I wait hoping and praying you will come right back.But the chances of you walking back in with a smile and a heart that feels the wonder of us is slim, and the chances of me walking away heartbroken are high. Yet, I am still ready to take this chance, this risk knowing I might fall flat on my face in front of a crowd jeering.

Although I got the support of many I wait to see your hand to pick me back up. I'm lost in a cloud of strangers as my friends and looking for a soul that soothes mines as they meet. I long for another embrace, another laugh, another cry with you. Could it be we needed this? Would it hurt us more than fix us? I don't believe in meant to be's , I just believe in you and me and that is all I need. so just let me hear your voice so my heart stays calm awaiting for you, and knowing you are okay and everything will be fine.

I'll fight till the world crumbles under my feet, I'll be stubborn and irrational if only that means I get to keep you for just another day longer. If that means your breaths are familiar to me then I'll shut the doors and stay in with you for eternity. Can you promise me your heart? Can you promise me your tears and heartaches? I swear I'll share the chocolate with you too.

Make a promise standing here as the world falls apart, I'll look into your eyes and you look into mine. We'll smile to each other and hold hands, make a promise that no man made disaster can stand. I will walk into your arms with tears on my face knowing this day forward it is just you and me and nothing else could come between us.

But I guess that dream has come to pass, and there needs to be space that separates and blurs the dreams to just a thought not worth pondering upon. Could you stand with me one last time? Make a pact that we'll make it to the end. I'll call you and share as each story happens and we'll laugh and cry and make fun of everything that needs be. I give you my word, I give you my heart, this is a battle we could win.

The ribbon tied blessing

As otday is another brick on the wall to building it right back up as soon as it shattered to the ground. I realised that for so long I have been trying to make sense of my failures and short comings. Yet today I realized that the best decisions that you could ever make are the ones that do not make sense; no logical reason what so ever sometimes.

 So do not worry if you're heart is on your sleeve, or if your heart is drunk and like a kid. If you want something, it won't be easy, it may sometimes feel like things won't come through, but it is when you are at your hardest that if you follow through, things come through. I witnessed the best and worst week today and I was blessed to know that I got an amazing support system.

The best thing to witness is when you are down in the dumps, feeling like you just want to kick the bucket and then someone comes up to you and says you changed their life for the better. I guess for me knowing that lives can be changed by a slight effort of taking time to listen to them and empathizing with them is a huge impact on the way I treat people close to me. I close myself up to people close and just be a shoulder to lean on, but as I start to open up, I see that people actually care more than you think.

I spent one of my best days today devoting my time and just in adoration of our loving Mother, and I realized I cannot be stressing myself on things I cannot change. I cannot worry if someone does not feel the same way I feel or no longer does for it is not my battle to fight but that person's.You just be the best damn person you can, and that is if you wear your heart on your sleeve then go ahead and wear it out! Your life is yours and no one else's.

I realized that yes I may be a total emotional wreck and a crazy maniac, I am clumsy and a nuisance you can love me and hate me at the same time and I am as flabby as an obese whale could be, but my heart is pure and I can bet you a million bucks from now till the day I die that there wont be anyone that could love someone as well as I can. In an imperfect package comes a package that is perfect, but during delivery it was thrown around, and dented at the sides, but if you open it up, it is still that same package you were waiting for, sometimes you're whole life.